What to Do When a Coworker Hates You
You lot tend to think of yourself as a likable person. Y'all pride yourself on existence pretty easy to work with. Your workdays are generally gratis of conflict and ruffled feathers, and you've even been complimented on your congeniality before.
Then, imagine your surprise when it becomes obvious to you that the person in the next cubicle over seems to absolutely detest you. He sighs or rolls his eyes when it's your turn to share your ideas. He appears agitated when you speak up in meetings. And when it'southward just the two of you waiting for an elevator, he decides to walk down the stairs—all 14 flights. For all intents and purposes, he seems to be actively working against you.
Well, what'southward going on? To your knowledge, you haven't done anything to upset him. So, why has he made it his personal mission to make your working relationship every bit difficult every bit possible—and how can you brand him your best friend?
Yous tin't. Aye, it's man nature to want to be well-liked. But, we all know that an office where everybody gets along perfectly is a full fantasy. Still, learning to work effectively with people—fifty-fifty when they aren't your biggest fans—is crucial.
So, here are some steps yous can put into play in social club to deal with that co-worker who seems to detest your guts. Spoiler alert: They don't include screaming or a dramatic confrontation.
i. Accept a Step Back
When finding out that someone in your function doesn't like you lot, your commencement inclination might be to captivate over your human relationship until yous get some answers. What does he or she take against you lot? Did you exercise something offensive? Everybody likes you—what'southward her problem?
But, as tempting as that analysis might be, it's best if you footstep back and accept a deep jiff rather than immediately springing into activity. Of course, nobody can arraign y'all for wanting to brand sense of the situation. However, it'due south of import to realize that people's feelings aren't always logical. Then, the reasoning behind this person'south distaste for you only might never brand sense.
two. Take It
Yep, it'd exist swell if absolutely everybody liked you. But, you already know that it's just non realistic. Recall, even Mother Teresa had her fair share of negativity and criticism lodged against her.
So, the best matter y'all tin practice for your ain sanity and professionalism is to just accept that this person will never be starting upward a fan society in your honor. You'll need to detect ways to collaborate together on work projects without heated arguments and tons of uncomfortable tension. But, there'southward no law stating that yous need to exist best buddies exterior of the office.
The quicker you tin can come up to terms with your co-worker's dislike, the better off y'all'll be. After all, your focus should be on producing great work—not on changing his or her mind about you.
3. Decide Your Course of Action
Side by side, it'southward time to determine whether or non your office tension requires further action. Is information technology something you need to talk over? Or, is amend off simply existence left solitary?
If your co-worker's distaste is limited to a few smug smirks and subtle centre rolls, y'all're probably better off letting it get and moving on. Sometimes confronting your colleague can really merely feed the tension and atomic number 82 to an fifty-fifty more strained relationship.
However, if your co-worker's blatant dislike is impeding your ability to produce nifty work (or if she has a dartboard with your face on information technology), you might need to take activity in society to clear the air. When yous and your co-worker are solitary, start with something elementary like, "I sense some tension betwixt the states, and I want to make certain we tin collaborate to do our best on this project. Is there something I'g doing that bothers you?"
Perhaps you really are doing something that rubs your co-worker the wrong mode—and yous weren't even aware until it was pointed out to you. Or, maybe he or she is merely impossible to win over. Either way, y'all'll know you tried your all-time to defuse the situation on your own.
But, if your relationship reaches the point where information technology's completely counterproductive, it might be time for you to call in some reinforcements and escalate the upshot. If necessary, approach your manager in order to explicate the problems you're facing—also as how these troubles are a hindrance on your functioning. Then, the brawl is out of your court and your supervisor can decide how to all-time handle the situation. Sometimes, you just tin can't keep the problem betwixt the two of you—no matter how difficult you endeavour.
4. Be the Bigger Person
Whether you decide to approach your co-worker or not, it'southward manifestly of import that you ever maintain the utmost professionalism—no matter how strong your desire to be passive ambitious is.
Yous tin can't command everyone'due south feelings or actions, but you lot tin can command how you lot react to them. Then, take the loftier route and always care for this person with respect and integrity. Being the bigger person tin can definitely take some effort—particularly if your colleague is provoking you and making it actress hard. But, no matter how challenging it is, information technology'southward e'er the better option.
In an ideal world, everyone would adore you and jump with excitement at the chance to work with you. But, unfortunately, you know that's non always the instance.
Having to collaborate with people who'd rather not be around you is inevitable, so it's of import that you learn how to cope. Put these tips into action in order to stifle your tense human relationship and nonetheless become your work done. You lot tin can save your exasperated centre rolls for after work.
Photo of serious woman courtesy of Shutterstock.
Kat is a Midwest-based freelance writer, covering topics related to careers, productivity, and the freelance life. In addition to The Muse, she's a contributor all over the spider web and dishes out inquiry-backed advice for places like Atlassian, Trello, Toggl, Wrike, The Everygirl, FlexJobs, and more. She's also an Employment Advisor at a local college, and loves helping students set to thrive in careers (and lives!) they honey. When she manages to escape from behind her estimator screen, she's usually babying her two rescue mutts or continuing her search for the perfect taco. Say hello on Twitter @kat_boogaard or check out her website.
More than from Kat BoogaardSource: https://www.themuse.com/advice/what-to-do-when-your-coworker-dislikes-you-for-no-reason
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